Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Heart

The last season of life has been crazy. As I sit and reflect on how God has protected me as well as allowed certain scenarios to unfold before me, I cannot help but trust my innate belief that He is good. 

For some reason I've been writing poems. And by writing poems...they come in the early morning with a vengeance. If I don't get them out they will eat me alive. 

There is always an element of vulnerability with sharing something from your heart. My job as a worship leader to a large congregation has been stripping me of my fear to be authentic and transparent with others. 

Granted, I wear my heart on my sleeve. If you catch me at the right moment I develop a severe case of word vomit. Every other moment of the day my deep-rooted insecurity causes me to minimize what is truly happening. Either extreme is dangerous and robs me of joy.

Below is a piece of my heart
I am not going to explain what it means mainly because I don't really know myself. 

Concrete sequential thoughts run away 
Leaving unguarded hearts here to stay

Mind over matter 
My tongue calls it chatter

Bones inside flesh 
Reaching for death

Waiting beside while shadows surround
Beauty escapes as you waste to the ground 

Hiding behind certain lies and regret 
Desperately crying for just a moment

Split second of reality causing to peek
When they've seen inside your world, your eyes slowly leak 

Yearning for healing and not knowing how
Taking that first step, screaming not now 

Painful roads up ahead
They wind and they bend

Finding light among mines 
Where dark figures lie

You trust that it's right
So you stand up and fight