The Heart

The last season of life has been crazy. As I sit and reflect on how God has protected me as well as allowed certain scenarios to unfold before me, I cannot help but trust my innate belief that He is good. 

For some reason I've been writing poems. And by writing poems...they come in the early morning with a vengeance. If I don't get them out they will eat me alive. 

There is always an element of vulnerability with sharing something from your heart. My job as a worship leader to a large congregation has been stripping me of my fear to be authentic and transparent with others. 

Granted, I wear my heart on my sleeve. If you catch me at the right moment I develop a severe case of word vomit. Every other moment of the day my deep-rooted insecurity causes me to minimize what is truly happening. Either extreme is dangerous and robs me of joy.

Below is a piece of my heart. 

I am not going to explain what it means mainly because I don't really know myself. 

Concrete sequential thoughts run away 

Leaving unguarded hearts here to stay

Mind over matter 

My tongue calls it chatter

Bones inside flesh 

Reaching for death

Waiting beside while shadows surround

Beauty escapes as you waste to the ground 

Hiding behind certain lies and regret 

Desperately crying for just a moment

Split second of reality causing to peek

When they've seen inside your world, your eyes slowly leak 

Yearning for healing and not knowing how

Taking that first step, screaming not now 

Painful roads up ahead

They wind and they bend

Finding light among mines 

Where dark figures lie

You trust that it's right

So you stand up and fight

waiting with anticipation.

The last week or so life has handed me some interesting circumstances. Honestly, I've experienced every emotion possible. I've screamed into a pillow, cried myself to sleep, wanted to kick someone in the shins and sat with my head in my hands unsure of my ability to make a sound decision. I've been joyful and elated, honored and encouraged and so stressed that I wanted to throw up. 

Beyond that, my mind is racing. All hours of the day. Sleep doesn't come as easy and I've got attitude to prove it. 

The Lord is saying: 

GIVE IT TO ME.

And I'm saying {with alligator tears}:

HERE IS MY HEART.

Well...here's to letting go.

art.

My great friend Kathi Inglesby has inspired a project.

It's an art exercise. You take a blank paper or index card or whatever and create something.

Doesn't matter what you use. Just create something.

At first I was intimidated by it, knowing that I'm not a very 'out of the box' creative type. But a few of us gals are starting this project tomorrow. Since we are doing it together, it should be fun to see what comes from it. I plan on keeping updates at the the latest creation.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:21-26

oh, hello real world.

Well, I'm back in civilization. Complete with cell coverage and shorter trips to the grocery store. The good news is I haven't locked my keys in the car or waved at every car that passes by. Life outside the canyon is all about adjusting.

Reflecting on the last year and a half of my life it seems to have disappeared. Sort of an 'out of sight, out of mind' type of scenario. In some way the canyon is much like Narnia.

Anyway, I'll accept my award for the {worst blog updater on the planet} later in the year. But only after not posting anything new for another few months.

What is new in my life, you may ask?

Well, here goes. I left Washington Family Ranch (or the canyon as I often refer to it) a mere 3 days ago. My seasonal position was finished and it was time for me to leave. Even still, I knew that it was right. It was hard to leave some things but other things I bid farewell with a nice kick in the shins. The worst part was saying goodbye to people who have impacted my life in a major way.

Life outside the canyon is fast. You have so many more options. Options for food, gas, people, stores and television. It's almost as if everyone around you is moving in 'fast-forward' and you are stuck in the middle of a crowd.

I'll catch up eventually. I'll remember where my cell phone is and know exactly how to get somewhere I've been a million times before. The fast pace will become my pace soon enough. For the moment, I'm in the job market and looking to start bakery school as soon as I am able.

The ultimate dream? To own a night-time bakery complete with a stage for kids showcase their band. Canvas art on one wall and photography on the other. Couches that you can sink into and not one coffee mug will look like the other. Each night some group of kids can feel safe and at home with their friends or their young life leader. This is the kind of place that I wish existed.

Someday, it will.

insert witty title here.

my boss stuck me in a garbage can because i wouldn't give him the packing boxes that i verbally claimed earlier that morning.

the best part? the workcrew that were helping in the kitchen thought it was so funny that they all got their cameras.

all the workcrew were grown adults.

awesome.

sleep.

sleep.

these days, i don't really get any.

the worst thing is that my eyes will be shut as tightly as can be and i will whisper to myself, "ok, now fall asleep. ok, how about now. alright, fall soundly to sleep."

nothing.

in other news, only 42 days until my next address change.

who knows what will happen then. who knows.

this is a photo of how i feel about not getting any sleep.

because you can't have more than 1,000 characters on a facebook wall post.

dear mom. i know i didn't actually get to talk to you ON your birthday BUT i hope you loved the song on your voicemail.

just thought you should know that i love you.

you tell me all the time that i won't know a mother's love until i have children of my own...but i'm pretty sure that you have taught me what it means to be a mother.

you are humble, self-sacrificing and most of all compassionate.

you give wise counsel to me when i ask and even when i don't.

you shower me with gifts and letters (and somehow they are at the PERFECT moment).

you don't take me seriously.

you love me even when i don't take myself seriously.

you have a mother's intuition and take pity on me when i don't see the train wreck that is up ahead.

you give until there is nothing left. and then you give some more.

you are a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a grandmother and most of all a woman who fervently and passionately seeks after the Lord.

know that you mean more to me than i could ever express and if i become half the woman you are...well, what more could a girl ask for then to become just like her mother. :)

happy birthday.

loves.

you have to ask.

Lately God has been at work in my life. Not only in my own personal relationships with other people BUT with those around me. Just this evening God allowed something to happen someone that I love. Talk about tough. It's hard to be on either end. The one receiving and the one watching it happen.

I trust that the Lord is doing something big and will bring this back to Him. Eventually this will glorify Him. If it doesn't...it's not from Him.

Would you pray with me for my home?

Lord, I plead that you bind the evil one from my home and those who reside in it. You are at work. I believe that you are bigger and MORE powerful than our circumstances. Thank you for allowing moments in our life that cause us to fall to our knees. <3, Your daughter.

MARCHing on.

listening to Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve. it's currently on repeat and it's fantastic. sure, it's old. the lyrics are odd but it suits me in this very moment.

i think it's the strings. seriously, orchestra and rock collaboration is powerful. if i ever become famous or have a band or what have you, i will have to have an orchestra. even if it's small.

in other news, i was recently sick. to the point of complete exhaustion. people asked that dreaded question, "are you feeling alright? you look so tired." you could also exchange 'tired' for 'terrible' and that could define the other half of the questioning curious bunch.

honestly, that is the last thing you want to hear, right? even if you know you look like walking death. you want to be sympathized with but not told straight out that you look awful. it dampers the already dwindling mood.

luckily, i went home a little early from work. slept about 8 hours. woke up for 3.2 hours. then i dreamt away another 10 or so hours.

i was a CHANGED woman. believe me, nothing could stop me. don't get me wrong i still sounded like a 47 year old chain smoker with a bad loogie but, i felt like 1.6 million bucks.

camp is busy. we've got group after group. which is nice but at the same time it means a change of pace. lots of explaining and lots of micro managing.

recently, my roommate robyn and i had a little excursion to the awkward shelf that sits above our staircase. this is proof that we have WAY too much fun.

canyon life.

I cannot tell you how many times I open up my laptop and try to think of something to write. Something to help you climb into my shoes here at the canyon. Something to give you a peek into what life looks like these days.

It's not much different from life in Washington. Yeah, it takes over an hour to get to the nearest grocery store and when we 'go to town' it means literally, we are going to town.

4 days a week I work in the kitchen. 3 days a week I hang out at home.

My roommates are pretty awesome. We like to watch ridiculous tv shows and tell funny stories. We laugh a lot.

The room I reside in is almost finished (i'll take pictures and post when it's all cute).

Our christmas decorations are still up and as a house, we've decided that they will be up until our live tree dies or we'll just decorate them for each new holiday.

That's all for now.

sisters.

Family is incredibly important to me. Not only do I have a large family but one that is crazy and loud and in each other's business. I would not trade them for the world. If you have ever met my family, you would most likely agree.

Some of the most memorable moments I have growing up are obviously with my sisters. Now, don't get me wrong. Sometimes being the youngest of 3 girls was absolutely obnoxious. You never really have time in the bathroom and your parents have seen everything before so you don't get away with much. That being said, after you grow up and have time to actually appreciate those quirks you realize that your sisters are actually your best friends. Here is a little about mine...

Dear Jessica.
You are the oldest of us three Yohann girls and do not take that role lightly. Never once have you turned down a phone call or moment when I needed you to listen or cry with me. Especially when it comes to boys.

Growing up with you as my sister was pretty easy. You were more often than not my defender in times when I couldn't stand up for myself. I have come to know you as not only a sister but a friend.

Now that you are a mother...it has only increased your ability to listen with patience to come to a thoughtful and prayerful decision. Your children are such a reflection of you. They are bright and cheerful, love to laugh and are sometimes dramatic.

When we are together, we are silly and goofy. We laugh until our bellies hurt. We cry when we watch ridiculous TV shows with surprisingly dramatic plots. We even talk in accents until your daughter gets sick of it and makes us stop.
Honestly, I cannot imagine what life would be like without you. You are by far one of the most important people in my life. Thank you for teaching me to dream big.

Dear Christy.

You are the middle of us Yohann girls and are always the one to challenge me to higher standards. You are someone I can count on to pursue me intentionally.

Growing up with you was not always easy. You enjoyed picking on me. Not all the time, but enough to know that we have come a long way from then. I can honestly say that you are the reason that I enjoy to ask the hard questions and push the limits when I don't agree with something.

Now that you are a mother...it has caused me to see you in a different light. You are tender with your children and are making sure they are well cared for. Your children are a reflection of you. They are a little rough around the edges but so incredibly compassionate and creative. They want to know why things are the way they are.
When we are together, we discuss hard issues and bounce ideas off of each other. We laugh about memories from days when life was simpler and organize like madwomen.

Honestly, I cannot imagine life without you. You are so important to me and you keep me grounded. Thank you for asking the hard questions that many people dare not to ask.

Both of my sisters are vital parts of my everyday life. Each of them is so different but so alike. I am blessed to be such a combination of them both.

Thank you to Jessica and Christy, sisters extraordinaire. You are the reason I love to laugh and most likely the reason why I am so "odd"...

Loves.

is this real life?

it's been exactly a month since coming home from Washington Family Ranch. life at home is weird since i haven't found a job. most of days are filled with sleeping in, catching up on TV series from the summer, and enjoying the company of family and friends.

like most of the other interns, i miss being at the ranch. not so much the work but the community. you get to a point in the summer when things just click together and you cannot imagine your life without those 19 other people. they become your family. no matter how far away they live or how long since you talked to them last, you are changed because of the time you had with them.

the thing that i miss the most about living as an intern at WFR is being stuck in the middle of nowhere without a cellphone and without the luxuries of everyday life, knowing that you can not only survive a life like that but you can thrive. life at the ranch is completely secluded from things like the "spiraling economy" and "raging politics"...it's a community where you feel God. you literally feel Him.

i feel Him now, it's different. it's much harder.

life outside the ranch is different. it's much harder.

but, God is good and He's good ALL the time. that is the truth.

Life lived to the fullest.

Mother Dearest,

I want to first thank you for the incredible way you serve me. Even when I don't have the decency to spend time on the phone or write you a letter, let alone an email. Please forgive the way that I have been lacking in the communication department while in this bubble.

You have been praying for me in a way that has made leaps and bounds of difference in my life. It shows in the way that you write me little notes of encouragement and it seems to find it's way to me EXACTLY when I need it. The Lord has given you a special gift to know what I need and the ability to give it. Thank you again for being the best mom in the world. I know other people think that too.

Remembering back to times when I would be leaving for school or work, more often than not I would find you praying in the living room. You would be on the ground. Head bowed in absolute reverence of the merciful God we serve. It used to make me uneasy. Not so now. If I become half the woman of God you are today, my life will have such purpose.

Every once in a while it hits me that my life is so blessed because of you. When I gave my life story during last session, I started to cry when I thought back to those times when we would cuddle on the rocking chair and sing hymns. That is a precious time that I will cherish until the Lord takes me home. Know that you have a daily impact on my life. Trust that I would NOT be who I am today without you. Literally and figuratively. :)

There are several times each day that I say, "Wow, I am turning into my mother."

I like it.

I also like you.

Loves.

Little Alicia.

Who cut the cheese?

I cut it. LOTS of it. At least that is what was on my agenda today. More about that later...

I arrived here at Washington Family Ranch on Tuesday, May 18th and have been LOVING every minute of being in this glorious place. Here is a break down of each day so far.

Tuesday:

7 AM- Leave house with a car FULL of stuff and headed south to Oregon.

7:15 AM- I wonder WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?

7:16 AM- Pray that the Lord calms my heart.

7:18 AM- Feeling less crazed about my future.

7:19 AM til Noon- Talked on the phone, got lunch, ate lunch and then my phone service cut out.

1:00 PM- Arrived at Washington Family Ranch.

1:15 PM- Got a little lost trying to find the Main Office.

1:20 PM- Someone had mercy on me and lead me to the Main Office.

1:30 PM til 5 PM- Met an absurd amount of people and settled in to my room.

5:30 PM- Went to the Staff Village and met more people.

6:00 PM- Ate grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup with an awesome staff family.

6:35 PM- Helped that awesome family fold some laundry and finish the dishes.

7:00 PM- Came back to Condo 55 to settle in for the evening

The rest of the night was consumed by talking with parentals on skype, talking with the other interns, and watching the beginning of "The Labyrinth"...Let me just tell you, David Bowie is smokin' in this flick.

Turned in for the night and slept like a ROCK.

Wednesday:

6:45 AM- Woke up and for a split second forgot where I was.

8:00 AM- Went to the Main Office to fill out oodles of paperwork.

9:00 AM- Finished paperwork and started work in the kitchen.

9:01 AM til 5:00 PM- Laughed and worked and learned a ton.

During the time that I was in the kitchen, I realized how much I love it here. Which is A LOT.

5:45 PM- Followed the crowd of interns to the "Progressive Dinner" and ate a different portion of our meal at a different house.

8 ish PM- Talked with my parentals on skype.

8:45 til 9:25 PM- Went to the Sports Center to hang out. Played in the foam pit and slid down the skate ramps. Then we played bump...and I even made a shot!

9:30 PM- Finished watching "The Labyrinth"...and yet again, David Bowie's skills as an actor are unmatched as of this moment in time.

10:30 PM- Went to bed.

Thursday:

7:00 AM- Woke up and still forgot where I was.

8:00 AM- Headed to the Main Office for an all staff meeting.

9:15 AM- Meeting ended and headed to the kitchen to begin my workday.

9:20 AM til 5:00 PM- Took my Oregon State Food Handler's thing, passed with flying colors, made some oatmeal scotchies, learned a few more details to how the kitchen has changed since 2007 when I was last working in there.

5:50 PM- Went to "Core" which is the ladies small group for interns

6:30 PM- Our discussion was finished and then I was in the hot seat, the new girl had to answer a ton of questions. Gladly, of course.

7:00 PM- The Bi-Weekly worship session started.

7:20 PM- Worship was done and a staff member gave a great talk about Nehemiah. He spoke about how we need to look at what we are called by God to do and knowing that we can't be good at everything! Another few details: Pray and pray often, even in the most minuscule details...also, don't be afraid to ask for the big things, knowing that God Almighty has the power to make it happen (if He wants it to.)

8:00 PM- Went home to hang out.

8:15 PM- Talked with the parentals on skype.

8:45 PM- Watched "Flight of the Conchords" with a few interns.

10:45 PM- Went to bed.

Friday:

7:00 AM- Woke up and remembered where I was.

8:00 AM- Headed to the kitchen for my workday.

8:10 AM- Morning devo's and prayer time with the kitchen staff.

8:30 AM- Got well acquainted with the slicer in the kitchen. This beast of a machine does NOT mess around. It's automatic. Meaning I put a giant chunk of meat or cheese or even my finger and it slices it all on it's own. Pretty impressive.

11:20 AM- Finished the last cutting of the swiss cheese. All in all I sliced; 4 huge hunks of roast beef, 4 turkeys, 2 large chunks of ham, 4 huge things of provolone, 4 large blocks of cheddar cheese, and lastly 2 incredibly large blocks of swiss cheese.

12:15 PM- Cleaned up the lunch line from the front counter where volunteers and such came to dish up lunch.

12:45 PM- Helped make some delicious coffee cake.

1:15 PM- Had a meeting with the kitchen/dining hall staff where we gabbed about all the details for the campers coming in this weekend. There are two groups coming out at different times. Kinda crazy BUT it will be great practice for me.

2:00 PM- Helped put away dishes that we run through the pits.

4:00 PM- Helped the retail staff price and take inventory for this weekend.

5:00 PM- Cleaned the upstairs room to turn it into our craft spot. :)

5:15 PM- Got a call from a married intern inviting the new interns over for dinner.

5:16 PM- Accepted said invitation (since I still don't have groceries!)

5:45 PM- Headed over to eat a GREAT meal with some awesome new friends.

7:30 PM- We made our way to play wiffle ball in the field in camp.

8:45 PM- My team won and I even had a base hit and scored a run to make the final score 8-7.

8:50 PM- Went to another staff couples house and about 12 of us sat around and laughed for a really long time.

10:45 PM- Came home and chatted with the parentals and Jess and Todd (plus some sleepy kiddos) on skype.

11:30 PM- Tried to go to bed but kept typing this blog post.

12:15 AM- Posted this blog.

12:16 AM- Went to bed.

Just so you know...some of these time frames are not completely accurate. Seeing as how all the days are running together, I won't be able to relay all of the stuff that is going on or even my thoughts. Mostly because the thoughts in my head are going about 16 million miles an hour.

I'll post when I can and I'll really try to post pictures when I remember.

Loves to you all. I miss you and hope you are all fairing well as we enter into the Summer season! If you should feel so inclined to send me a package, email me or check my facebook page under the "notes" section. All the details are there. :)

Eggs and such.

Easter.

I love it.

Holiday pay @ work.

Bunnies.

Birthday 'round the corner.

Fun treats.

Family dinner.

Missing grandma.

Reflecting on sacrifice.

Knowing I'm saved.

Easter.

I love it.

Dear WaFaRa,

This summer will be decidedly, beautifully and remarkably splendid.

{This picture was taken after I heard the news}

It's official. I have been offered and have accepted the position of AM Kitchen Summer Intern at Washington Family Ranch.

For those of you that don't know what that means...I will be at "WaFaRa" from May 19th until September 13th, immersed in life away from the hustle and bustle of the everyday norm. My days will be filled with talking with Summer Staff and Work Crew while cooking for an incredible amount of people. Taking walks around the camp and soaking up the sun after my morning work day. Joining the family of staff that have so graciously taken time from a normal life to serve kids that need to hear the good news of the Lord!

The kitchen is a beast of its own. We start at 5:45 AM and lock up around 8:30 PM. There are 2 shifts that keep every tummy at camp, happy and full. It is absolutely amazing to be a part of a working machine! Over the years, the kitchen has been tweaked and twisted to better serve the campers, leaders and staff. I can honestly say, it is a well oiled machine.

Here is the best part...for the 6 people who read this blog, I will try my best to update as I prepare to take the most daring adventure of my life to date. While I prepare myself physically, emotionally and spiritually, I ask that you join me on my journey to Washington Family Ranch.

Pray.

That may be one of the most important things I plead in all my life, is that you join me in prayer! Pray for the camp as a whole. That things will run smoothly and flawlessly to better serve the kids and leaders while they prepare for the best week of their lives. Pray that God would reveal the kids that He has prepared to hear His message. Pray that God would put His hand of protection over the campers as they travel and while they are on the property.

Pray for me, that I would be able to transition well and be able to grow in the Lord while helping others grow. That God would humble me daily as I wake up at the crack of dawn to make meals for around 1,000 people. Pray that God would take away the desires of my heart and replace them with His desires. That He would be what people see when they look in my eyes. Pray for this precious time that I have before my summer away, that I can spend it wisely.

Thank you in advance for sharing in my excitement!

Warning: This post is completely random

2010 has been fine. Not incredible or awful or fantastic or wretched. Just fine. Nothing seems to be sticking out. Content is a word that flows from my lips lately and that is okay for now, I guess.

Sometimes I fear that admitting my being content with life will only cause a shift in balance. That saying it aloud makes it too real and somehow that confession cracks the silence of the stability of where I am in the moment. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I am expecting any sort of life-altering, earth-splitting, rock-your-world moment to happen in the near future. But I am expecting for things to change.

As the seasons transform and years seem to fly past me, I am learning to embrace change. Sure, it’s not easy and it’s not something that I would love to happen frequently. Yet, the idea that I have lived in this little bubble has been plaguing my thoughts; that I haven’t stepped out into any sort of situation that has caused me to leave the comforts of home and the security of family behind. (sidenote: What an incredible family I have…couldn’t ask for a better one!) No, I am not going to do anything drastic like move out of the country (I tried that and it didn’t go over so well).

What can I do? I can take those little nudges that have been disregarded in the past and entertain them. Make sure I am leaving my own plans in the dust and walking the path that God has set out for me knowing full well that He has the BEST intentions. Trusting that He isn’t surprised by anything that comes my way. 1 Corinthians 10:13 states “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. When you are tempted; He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (Thank you Mary Jensen for making me repeat that verse OVER and OVER again until it stuck!)

Lately, the Lord has been prompting me to be still. UGH. I literally despise being “still” and why would I want to sit when I could be organizing or watching “Make It or Break It?” Really? Are you sure??

Yes. God always wants us to plan time to spend with Him. That is the only way to maintain our relationship; the only way to fill up our tank. Now that life isn’t all about what I am going to wear to homecoming or what cute boy just winked at me, it has become so much more real that I need to dive into the Word with every single part of my heart, mind and soul.

{insert lame blog post title here}

Ok, nothing really exciting has happened in the 6 years since my last blog post. BUT, life is pretty awesome these days.

My best friend, Courtney and I have joined LA Fitness and are working out 6 out of 7 days. Not bad if you ask me...

Todd Beamer High School Young Life is starting this Monday and I can't wait! We have some gnarly clubs and events planned.

A coworker and I are participating in a colon cleanse. Kind of awkward to share with everyone (all 4 and 1/2 of you that actually read this thing) but so far it's not so crappy....well, you know what I mean. ;)

Work is a little busy since our part-time concierge quit, but when I choose to have a positive attitude about it, things just turn out right. (Hint: if anyone is looking for a part-time job on Sundays and Mondays on Mercer Island PLEASE let me know)

My friends are pretty incredible. We hang out WAY too much but I don't mind. Our agenda consists of:
*laughing until our abs are sore and tears are streaming down our cheeks
*watching The Office over and over and over again
*making dinner for the clan
*eating delicious food
*making fun of infomercials
*watching 10 minutes of a documentary and shutting it off because it's poorly made
*us girls cheering on the boys during Tuesday night basketball games
*having serious conversations until 2 AM
*talking about the LA Fitness Trainers. scratch that...more like making fun of them
*discussing the thought process of the writers of The Office

Last, but certainly not least...my family. Especially my parents. I think it's safe to say that I have the most incredible parents on the planet. The Lord continually reveals to me the blessing I have in having them as my parents. My dad and I are two peas in a pod, as I have shared in past blog posts. He showers me with humor and encouragement. My mom and I are SO much alike, it's almost uncanny. We can have a conversation about something totally shallow and every time, we end up talking about God. I LOVE that about her. We can laugh about something days after it happened and I can share my heart with her.

Loving life and I hope to have some awesome news soon! :)

Patience. Grace. Bah Humbug.

You know those few people that just get under your skin? When they walk in the room and immediately you just want to kick them in the shins? They haven't done anything wrong, per say, but they just rub you the wrong way.

Lately, I have been face to face with those individuals more than usual. It's like they have planted some device that tracks my whereabouts and knows my every move. They find me in the most inopportune moments. Like, when I am about to head out to lunch or right after my boss asks me to take care of a big project that needed to be done 20 minutes ago. Or when I am wanting some peace and quiet. They would never know it, as I try my hardest to not give off a negative vibe, but I would, literally, rather be anywhere else than in that very situation.

The worst part is that deep down, I want to help them figure out a solution to their problem. It just seems that there is some barrier that prevents me from letting that part through. Knowing that the "barrier" is my own sin and imperfection, I still find it hard to serve those certain folk.

Would you pray with me? That I may exude patience and grace to the people that I am deliberately choosing to deny the same things my Savior has so wonderfully blessed me with.

It's hard to admit when you are wrong. It's even harder, once you have admitted that, to then live it out in your daily life.

The Lord has done and will continue to do a good work in my heart and soul.

These will be the verses that I run to when selfishness, impatience and outright annoyance fill my heart:

*Hebrews 6:12b Imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

*1 Timothy 1:16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

*John 1:16 From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.

*Romans 6:14 For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.

Sisters.

I came across these pictures from Hawaii last year.

If you can't tell, we are so incredibly excited.



Before.


After.


I love this.